Building confidence

 It's a journey, isn't it, this horsemanship thing. Every horse presents something different. They all give us something to learn and perhaps something to teach. Sometimes it's a mental game and sometimes there's physical stuff that presents the challenge. And sometimes it's both. Not just for the horse, for us too.

I have been doing a lot of reading on some of the horsemanship pages on Facebook and have come across a few that both hit home and made me think. One was by Keystone Equine  on aging. I copy it here in it's entirety: (Written by Lee McLean) 

Keystone Equine

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One of the things I hear from people my age and older, is that they just don’t seem to be able to ride as they once did, back when they were kids.

Specifically, what has happened to their courage?

Turns out, after listening to an expert on how the brain is wired during a drive into town yesterday, there is science behind why we feel as though we’re losing our youthful gusto and mastery over our bodies. In most cases, unless we’re mindful about our own mental and physical conditioning, we are.

As I understand it—after following a ten-minute interview, so I’m no authority—as we age, our brains form new neural pathways that take over from the instinctive brain messages that ruled us in our youth. This is why we seemingly have to think things through and practice what once ‘just came naturally’.

More fascinating, our brains and our bodies are wholly intertwined. If our brain says that this is hard, our body tenses up and waits for further instructions. Will this be safe? Is it doable? Would it be better to rethink this, preferably while slowing down to a standstill?

Now, rather than moving without conscious thought, we are wracked with questions and self-doubt.

Our brain begins to send us messages that we would be wise to worry. This is why so many of the things we did as children—from swimming our horses in the forbidden river, to galloping bareback for miles over rough terrain—seems as farfetched now, as flying to the moon. Our brains are telling us that should we continue to do this, we will likely be hurt.

Of course, once we think this, the chances of it coming true multiply. Our new fears, if this is what is happening in our riding, are not simply the voice of experience over hope. Our bodies are listening to the messages received from our brains. When we get word from above that we are in over our heads, our physiology changes.

We begin to clench our muscles. Our posture turns inward. We become stiff. Our breathing becomes shallow and rapid. These are survival mechanisms that date back to the caveman days… and surprise, they also happen to be the very responses that unsettle our horses. Understanding why we feel as though we’ve gone backwards, that our riding might be tentative, downright fearful or stiff, compared to the snapshots of ourselves as cocky teens in old photo albums, can be a help to us, moving ahead.

We have not simply 'mysteriously lost our nerve'.

Giving birth, becoming the sole breadwinner or caregiver, surviving a grave illness, having painful joints, seeing or reading about accidents, experiencing your share of close calls… all will change how your body reacts to messages from your brain. This is not just ‘in your head’. It is science. It is in our nature.

So, we are not the same as we once were. We have evolved to protect ourselves and our loved ones, as we age. Knowing this, practicing our breathing, staying on top of our fitness, riding regularly and finding ourselves paired with the right horses—which are often very different horses from those we might have chosen, once upon a time—are key to riding confidently and with ease in the future.

If we have been many years out of the saddle, only coming back to our horsemanship after decades of childrearing and earning a living, we have a challenge ahead of us. Our balance, reactions, body control, response time, courage and instincts will have changed to the point that we mightn’t recognize ourselves.

I want you to stop comparing yourself to the kid who rode like the wind over fifty years ago. You are not the same and there are very good reasons why. It’s not all bad, either, you know.

I like to think that we’re also a heckuva lot wiser and perhaps, more compassionate than we used to be, once upon a time!

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Some of this hit home with me. Well, a lot of it really. Look how many horses I have gone through in the last 10 years. Clancy, Delia, Rosalee, Coulee, Sparkle, Sophie, and now Ruby. For different reasons they weren't quite right, and I learned to not hang on to one that didn't fit me. 

That being said, I am going to hang on to Ruby! Some other posts that have helped me are ones that talk about trigger stacking (Warwick Schiller and Rudy Horsemanship) And even ole Eddie Landers with his common sense approach to dealing with barn/buddy sour horses. 

So part of my journey with Ruby is coming to terms with my own limitations now that I am *ahem* officially an older rider. And not feeling bad about it when I can no longer be as brave and physically able as I once was. (There's that mental and physical thing. )

Ruby is progressing. Well, Ruby and I are progressing together. I am learning what to do to get to her mind and she is learning how I want her to use her body. 

She improves every day. Catching and saddling are non issues, and bridling has improved but not yet perfect. She does tend to back up, but it has gone from a couple steps to a half step. I am consistent in asking her to lower her head for bridling and unbridling, and am patient in waiting for her to think about it and open her mouth, as well as making her slow down when I am taking the bridle off. She stands perfectly at the mounting block; but does move as I get in the saddle-yesterday she walked out as I got on and today only a half step out. 

Yesterday I worked her only in the round pen, and instead of just going around and around, I gave her something to think about. 

Lots of different patterns available there! Changing directions between the poles, go through the narrow gap between the barrels and do an immediate turn to the nearest pole, and many other configurations. Including learning to sidepass over the longest board. One side step at a time.  I worked on getting her to move her hip off my leg and to move her shoulders over (forehand turns and haunches turns) as well as renvers and travers as we went around the perimeter. She neck reins well and steers off my legs and is soft in the back up. However her trot transitions need work. She is still bracing in the bridle and I think it will be a while before I can get her softness to come from using herself better. Lots of pole work should help. But at least she is thinking now and not shutting down. 

Giving her something to think about has made all the difference. Today, after working in the pen I opened the gate off her (something that worries her) and leaving it open , rode out and did a 50 ft. circle around the horse trailer and then back in the pen. Did that again and again, going to different spots every time and making the exits bigger and longer each time. (Thanks for the 50 ft. trail ride inspiration to Warwick Schiller). Once she was relaxed about riding around the yard I got off out there and hand grazed her for a bit after unsaddling. I pretty much was smiling for my whole ride today, and praised my mare a lot. (She lapped it up. )So different from the other day! Good girl Ruby. We got this.